Think of yourself as a lone wolf. Let’s say you travel alone. Let’s say you attend music festivals alone. And occasionally you watch sunsets alone for your peace of mind. Which of the three things makes you feel less lonely?
Seems like a silly question doesn’t it?
And yet that's exactly how we make ourselves feel
We do things alone not because we want to, but because we have to. We don’t have a lot of friends to share these experiences with. We feel extreme sadness and pain because of this loneliness. Even if there is someone to talk about how we feel, they just don’t seem to really understand. So it’s better to not even talk about it and struggle with this feeling alone.
Which is when you think it is okay to be alone
When learnt the right way, spending time alone is great to help amplify your creative mind. That’s why shower thoughts seem to be really creative for no reason.
And yet, you do it WRONG
You doomscroll social media, play video games, sleep a lot, cry a lot, rarely go out of your room to enjoy the “peace” while sitting in your solitude. But in reality you’re only confirming the thought of loneliness that you struggle with already, and this makes you more anxious to even bother putting in an effort for connection.
To fix loneliness, acknowledge why you feel that way
You feel loneliness not because you’re lonely in general, it's because of what is missing from your life. Which is meaningful relationships and human connection. It’s an important aspect to us human beings because we are social animals and our survival depends on it. But you don't make such connections when you choose to spend playing video games and sleeping all day.
Love oneself
More than anyone or anything, you spend your time with yourself. Learn to love yourself. And to love is to learn about yourself, what triggers you and your limiting beliefs on why you’re hesitant to go out of your comfort zone, to create human connection.
Since you love being alone, spend time writing a few words a day on reflecting your thoughts. This helps you overtime, find the subtle things that your conscious mind cannot catch, and helps you learn how you think and why you think that way.
But i have never written before
There’s no wrong way to write. The goal isn’t to write an amazon or NY times best seller. This is to catch data and to help regulate your emotions, because writing makes you calmer and more relaxed.
What do I do after I write?
Catch small patterns in your writing and find things that repeatedly make you triggered. For example ; every time you go to Instagram and watch your friends' stories, it makes you mad and sad all the time, and that could lead to a downfall of actions like crying, avoiding everything and taking a nap.
In such instances be excited because you found something to actually work on. You can then start digging up why you feel that way, and slowly reach to the root cause of the issue.
Put down your phone and find a hobby
Enroll yourself in a course for something you’d like to learn, like dancing or cooking, or a sport. These are all things that keep you engaged as you’re learning new skills. Also, you’re surrounded with people and make fun connections. Nothing on your phone screen beats hobbies that make you go outside and interact with people.
What if I'm playing online video games as a hobby?
It's still online, it’s not the same as physically being around people and interacting or at least trying to interact with people. You can fake connections online. But it’s harder in real life.
Connection is Key
Take care of yourself by regulating your emotions with writing
Find hobbies that you enjoy and build connections from those hobbies
Isolation makes people depressed , and connection makes people happy. Rats put alone in cages overdose on cocaine because they are lonely, and those put with other rats barely touch the drug.
And slowly, you’ll learn that we all battle crippling loneliness but we have this beautiful thing called real, human connection that we can have face-to-face with others.
Do you struggle with constant self doubt? Do you feel anxious all the time? It’s a sign that you could be having an unregulated self. Our 27 page guide shows you why this happens and you’d be surprised by the dramatic change it makes in such a short time. Click here